20 Something

LORD

WHY AM I 20 ON THURSDAY

Currently sat in my bed in my Uni house listening to 20 something by SZA, oh and I’m crying.

Seeing the end of my teenage years is so overwhelming for me.

I know for most people a birthday is just an extra candle on the cake and some b-day money, maybe some new trainers if you’re lucky. But for some reason it’s so much more to me than that. Turning 18 was amazing, I had gotten a car, passed my driving test the previous day and I could go OUT out. But now I’m about to turn 20 and wow, it feels so different.

Being born in October is a blessing in disguise. You’re not the oldest in the year but you’re probably the oldest in your friend group so you actually can’t go OUT out just yet.

Reaching the end of teens makes me actually realise I am an adult now. It’s so scary. I escaped to Uni to delay my entrance into the real world so surely I’m still 18.

Turning 20 means people no longer look at me as a ratty teenager and I actually have to be mature. I’m entering my twenties. The decade I’m likely going to get married and have kids?!!! I’m barely eating proper food at Uni let alone feeding babies omg.

I feel like turning 20 is bigger than turning 18 or 21. And I’m so stuck in this cycle of Uni work, it’s so overwhelming (when people say 2nd year is hard, THEY MEANT IT).

Uni is too much for me right now. It’s week 3 and I have 2 assignments due in the next 2 weeks?? One of them is group work which I bloody hate. Why do Unis do group work? It’s not a true reflective of what we are capable but the mere average of everyone in the group. I say that, but we also have an individual presentation to do which I’m also dreading. I hate public speaking, again I say that but I’m looking to be a psychology teacher.

Anyway, Realistic Anxiety is making a comeback BIGGER AND BETTER, I’ve missed her (and it costs too much to run when I’m not using it lol)

CHEERS TO 20 SOMETHING

AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY FELLOW LIBRAS (we do it best ;))